Blinding pain awakens me. Have to come up with new strategies for coping. First, don’t panic. Second, find positives, don’t “second arrow” yourself with self-criticism. The desire I have to write is so strong, that even with the headache, and the glare of the laptop burning a hole in my head through each eye, I’m sitting, filling in the white blankness with black words Still trying to find meaning, and something to give from this. Third – use meds responsibly to help with the pain. Fourth, try to do things for others; comfort a friend and Mom whose son is suffering in an ICU in whatever way I can, take the focus off myself in whatever way I can. Feel the deep love I have for my husband and children when the knife stabs through diagonally from over my right ear through my right eye, before bouncing back to the left. Five, use a mantra. No feeling is forever. This will change, even if it is still pain it will morph and turn into something else. Six, don’t give up. There is hope that this will get better. It has before. Two days without self-medicating, and counting. Menopause will pass and my body will adapt to the estrogen shortage. Seven – find humor, somehow. Eight – self compassion. Pour it over myself like a shower of icy blue light. (ice is the ONLY thing that helps the headaches topically) Nine – seek out resource. (see below)
Number seven – if you have time, and feel so inclined, send me jokes – on FB, or in responses to this. I cherish each one of you who has chosen to follow this nutty blog of mine, and feel so blessed to read yours.
Love, laughter, and blessings to all who take the time to read this. May you have a wonderful day!! Namaste’. And, “The peace of the Lord (or higher power) be always with you.” I used to love that part of the Episcopalian service.