I’ve been away from blogging and writing for weeks now, and it has had a definite impact on my overall view of myself and my life. Writing has always been important to me, as it is for many of us. It is stated in countless books about writing that for some, if not all authors, the act of writing is in part a desire to be understood. One of the ways our inner editor negatively impacts our lives as writers is when people close to us misinterpret or personalize aspects of our writing in ways we didn’t intend (published authors know the pain of this better than anyone). Critics can be harsh and unrelenting, even for just a few words written in a status update on Facebook or Twitter. This can silence you before you even begin to explore the depths of your creative soul. No, your life doesn’t have to be tragic to grant you access to the world of publication. Tragedy that becomes a success is a story line people identify with and dream of, especially right now with the horrific downturn in the economy and its impact on the 99% of us who are not wealthy. It is hard not to feel cynical in times like these about “following your bliss.” Especially when you have children who need food, a roof over their heads, and clothes.
Recently, and for the first time in my life, I’ve experienced what it’s like to not have dental insurance. It’s sobering and the idea of life without health insurance begins to take on nightmare dimensions. Positive thinking, banishing worry, and letting go of attachment to outcomes is very difficult when you have a family in which almost every member has a pre-existing condition that would make buying health insurance privately impossible. Fair or unfair, when both members of a marriage are unemployed either spouse can feel a sense of betrayal, especially if there is little or no prospect of re-employment. Trying to turn towards the positive, the optimistic view, in times of nation-wide, even world-wide depression, takes an immense effort and for some (like me) even medication. Writing as a profession takes incredible discipline and talent. It helps if the writer has a partner with a conventional job that provides basic insurance for health and dental care. (vision care is another plus) Again, stories (like J.K. Rowling‘s) of authors who overcome incredible odds and hardships can help prop us up for a time, but measured against the totality of human suffering and depravation in our world today they become more like tales from the lottery or urban legends than they do realities that can be emulated or aspired to. “True” writers don’t do so for money anyway. Such pecuniary goals are laughable in the upper circles of creative nobility.
There are no easy answers. Hope is a delicate flower that needs constant care if it is to blossom and grow. Writing can nourish hope, but choosing to do so in a public way (especially if you feel compelled to be true to yourself) can invite the most soul crushing kind of criticism. May your spiritual practice, whatever it might be, sustain you in these times that challenge even those with the hardiest dispositions. To those who share my dream of a writer’s life (or any of the creative arts), hold fast to your aspirations. May your muse be ever near, and support be available to you in abundance. Namaste’.
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