My other children say
why can’t you live for US now?
You spent so much time away from us and we never complained
because we understood.
But we are living and he is gone.
And how do I explain?
You don’t need me like he did.
You are healthy and whole. You need me so little,
and he needed me so much.
You are NOT the “other ones”
You are not less important because you need me less,
You are just as beloved and precious.
And yet that still cannot take away how much I miss him.
And the fact that it felt like it was me showing up,
who made the difference.
An Unexpected Life 
I am confused by the last two lines….duhhhhhhhhhhh Good your got that out in words…………..life is soooooooooo complicated sometimes…ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
On Wed, Aug 19, 2020 at 1:33 PM An Unexpected Life wrote:
> janetlandis posted: ” My other children say why can’t you live for US now? > You spent so much time away from us and we never complained because we > understood. But we are living and he is gone. And how do I explain? You > don’t need me like he did. You are he” >
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Janet, thanks so very much for this deep,beautifully expressed piece. I humbly offer a life-learned understanding. Young adults in good physical health may not express how much they need you, but later, when they are parents , they will yearn for your direct help and will acknowledge the challenges you faced and the devotion you offered when it was so needed. My children are 50 and 53, and when they were in their 30’s, we lost their 36-year-old sister. Their care for me now is reflective of the values that developed during and after Lindsay’s injury and death.
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Thank you Marcia. That is very helpful.
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