All that you will ever be

Sometimes the pain of grief is deepest,

When I cannot tell it,

Cannot express it.

The aching blots out every thought,

Defies all words and meaning,

Strikes me dumb with shock again,

Grasping for any trace of you.

I cannot hug your photos,

And feel your beating heart.

I cannot fill your vacant shoes,

And cannot let them go.

I hold your shirts to my face,

But your scent is no longer there.

I sort through stuffed animals,

You held so long ago,

But their eyes are dull,

Their fur grown cold,

Empty of comfort, empty of you.

I want to scream,

“He was here, he was here!”

I want to shout,

Shake each person I see,

And demand that they know you,

That they attest to your time here,

That you occupied space,

That you filled a chair.

It’s still not right,

That you are gone, that this love I feel,

For now and always,

I cannot find the words,

To capture with any semblance,

Of all that you were,

and all that you are,

And all that you will ever be.

Published by janetlandis

I am a mother, a nurse, a caregiver and a writer.

2 thoughts on “All that you will ever be

  1. Dear Janet, Such a painful loss of such a dear precious young person!!! Dear beautiful Daniel!! Sending love and hugs to you. Mom Landis

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: