Five Years

Here we were this day five years ago.

Our hands all touching you,

As Odie kissed you with his cold, wet nose.

My fingers stroked your thick, wavy, hair,

which framed your face so perfectly.

My tears still fall in rivers,

their source in my wounded heart.

I want to beg you to come home,

but know you are already there.

Yes, you are at peace while I still suffer,

selfishly wanting you back.

There are times, deep in meditation,

I feel your breath with mine.

I know that you have gone beyond,

this dualistic world of samsara.

That you live on,

my Bodhisattva boy,

a dweller in nirvana.

Published by janetlandis

I am a mother, a nurse, a caregiver and a writer.

3 thoughts on “Five Years

  1. I still grieve Dad and Mom, though not nearly as often as in the early days after they left this world. Your post had me thinking of mom, which was followed by thoughts about dad. I still can’t begin to imagine the grief you have had to plum and endure, both before and after Daniel’s passing at such a young age. I pray it gets easier for you over time, but I know well that while grief may lessen, it nevertheless persists. I hope that no matter how the grief may ebb and flow, that there will always be cherished moments of joy that help to lift up your spirit even amidst the grief.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you David. You’ve had many losses yourself along with Claire, and Kathryn’s sweet Avery’s diagnosis, many similar threads, not to mention all the parishioners. Meditation has helped ease some of the loss. Your presence throughout the most difficult moments of my life means so much to me. I’m sorry I don’t reach out more. I hope after I graduate in June I’ll have more time. Commencement is on your birthday. 63? ❤️I hope you are all doing well.

      Like

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