Wanting mind

The wanting mind, always present, always asking for things, so many things. Intricately entwined in our DNA, our genes, part of survival, instinctual, incessant. Comprehending it is relatively simple, but hearing it, the ceaseless nagging of it, wears away at any state of contentment. That is it’s job, to keep asking and asking for things…

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Solitude

Some grief requires solitude. An interval to withdraw from social norms and attempt to heal in silence the breech carved through you. Words, speech, even listening is hard. The effort required to perform simple tasks, to risk reaching out, even to your most trusted loved ones is unbearable. Because they know. They know your heart…

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What dreams?

What dreams trouble your rest, dear heart? Are you dreaming of the spinal tap, so long ago? The endless needle sticks for labs and iv’s? Of the Lifeflights, the ambulance rides? Are you dreaming of the surgeries and the long recoveries? The gasping for breath, reaching out your hands for air you could no longer…

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Defying gravity

The tide of your breath rises and falls; the ventilator, the moon, that gathers and  releases it. Another night in the hospital. Me by your bed, gazing at you and remembering, as you lay sleeping and dreaming your dreams. Memories come to me in silken images. You; in navy, rubber rain boots, the blue power…

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Dan’s daily life

  It has been fifteen years since my son Daniel’s diagnosis of Ataxia-Telangiectasia. Dan’s day typically starts with coughing.  He coughs on and off over night and his cough is relentless throughout the day.  Dan requires help to get out of bed each morning.  He needs assistance to sit on the edge of the bed…

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