Immortals Fall Out Boy They say we are what we are, But we don’t have to be, I’m bad behavior but I do it in the best way, I’ll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame, I’ll be the guard dog of all your favorite dreams, I am the sand in the bottom halfContinue reading “Dan Immortal”
Category Archives: Writing
Op-Ed on Palliative Care
Janet Landis In March of 2018 my son died after years of hospitalizations and procedures to treat his neurodegenerative disease. Often it still feels unreal that he can be gone. I am a nurse and for 20 years, I was Dan’s nurse. Sadly, the last months of his life were very difficult and I wishContinue reading “Op-Ed on Palliative Care”
Anytime
Any time of day and any day, Memories of you fill my mind. Tears, still so quick to spill, rivulets of love and pain. Busyness is it’s own addiction, life goes on without you. I hug your tree, its’ branches your arms, inhale days past, the sweet smell of you. We are separated, by theContinue reading “Anytime”
A little over a year
It’s a little over a year, love, I thought it would be getting easier. It’s strange how food loses its flavor, how everything can seem so empty, of meaning, of purpose. How could I ever think my writing could sum up how we were, Mother and son, nurse and patient, closer than anyone can imagine.Continue reading “A little over a year”
Nightmares
All of you and all of me were together. We were both on gurneys separated something wrong with our hearts. At least I could see you, talk to you, even as the doctors talked over us. Before they put us on the stretchers I could hold you, smell you, feel you close. my dearest, IContinue reading “Nightmares”
Breaks
Tonight my coworkers asked me, As they always do, “When do you want to take your break?” “I don’t usually take them.” My standard reply. I don’t say why. That some nights the tears are too close. That I love the memories despite the pain they cause, Because they are of you. Because they bringContinue reading “Breaks”
Navigating the gap.
Pema Chödrön often mentions “the gap” in her dharma teachings. It is something that takes us out of our everyday mind and into spaciousness. The gap can be many things, a sudden startle, a trip, a sneeze. Anything that snaps us out of everyday mind and into a moment of openness. OurContinue reading “Navigating the gap.”
Going on
I work the shift, I work the stove and cook, I email, and give kudos, And all the while I miss you. I weep on my walks with Odie. Such beauty, such tragedy. Wanting to believe, In some supernatural being, Who oversees it all. But it is just the Ides of March, The confusion ofContinue reading “Going on”
Beautiful Words
I am out of beautiful words. The pain of missing you weighs heavily on me, and I cannot sleep. Nightmares of you, lost or in need, tear at my mind and heart, waking me in a cold sweat, afraid to fall asleep again. Where are you? Should I look toward the stars? In nature? HowContinue reading “Beautiful Words”
Dreaming Dan
I dreamed of you again last night. You were a just a boy, eyes bright with promise, and hope. I hugged your small body to mine, then held you out with my hands to look at you, to take in all that I can no longer see in my waking life. IContinue reading “Dreaming Dan”
