I don’t know how to say goodbye to you my dearest and I don’t know how to greet a life without you. Dew fogs the grass as the pink light of sunrise floods through the windows. I listen for the sounds of you in this still morning the quiet of your absence surrounding me. YouContinue reading “For Dan”
Bitter, the absence of you, the taste of loss in my mouth. Missing you so it feels my soul will break apart. Just a box of you on the mantle in the living room, a trace of you, but not. I don’t know yet how to mine the beauty of your life, to find theContinue reading “Another day without you.”
The wanting mind, always present, always asking for things, so many things. Intricately entwined in our DNA, our genes, part of survival, instinctual, incessant. Comprehending it is relatively simple, but hearing it, the ceaseless nagging of it, wears away at any state of contentment. That is it’s job, to keep asking and asking for thingsContinue reading “Wanting mind”
Some grief requires solitude. An interval to withdraw from social norms and attempt to heal in silence the breech carved through you. Words, speech, even listening is hard. The effort required to perform simple tasks, to risk reaching out, even to your most trusted loved ones is unbearable. Because they know. They know your heartContinue reading “Solitude”
What dreams trouble your rest, dear heart? Are you dreaming of the spinal tap, so long ago? The endless needle sticks for labs and iv’s? Of the Lifeflights, the ambulance rides? Are you dreaming of the surgeries and the long recoveries? The gasping for breath, reaching out your hands for air you could no longerContinue reading “What dreams?”
The tide of your breath rises and falls; the ventilator, the moon, that gathers and releases it. Another night in the hospital. Me by your bed, gazing at you and remembering, as you lay sleeping and dreaming your dreams. Memories come to me in silken images. You; in navy, rubber rain boots, the blue powerContinue reading “Defying gravity”
And still there is beauty. The blue white light of the moon slowly fading. as the warm, yellow sun rises. Walking out with my three companions, the snow freezes my toes. Thinking of my mother’s face, reflected in those of my sisters and brother, Her love carrying us like a wave, into another day onContinue reading “Beauty”
It is a grief that feels too deep for tears, and yet they fall anyway. It is a grief so long in coming, so often felt around the edges, but now drags down the dawn into a seemingly endless darkness. One moment agony, another apathy. In this empty house where everything is a reminder ofContinue reading “About grief”
Just. One. Book. I live in a town of 1200 people in the Northern Sierra Nevada –where it meets the Cascade Range near Mt. Lassen National Park and about two hours drive northwest of Reno, NV.… Source: Just. One. Book.
I want to run so far, so fast, that Nothing can catch me, Not even my breath.