Dark eyes to drown in, sweet new face, with tiny features. This little creature who came from me. Trembly, open wide to the new, squinting at the brightness of it all. Sweet son of my heart, first in birth, thirsty for words, for action, for movement. You climbed and ran; you spun in endless circles,Continue reading “For Albert”
Category Archives: Writing
The Other Ones
My other children say why can’t you live for US now? You spent so much time away from us and we never complained because we understood. But we are living and he is gone. And how do I explain? You don’t need me like he did. You are healthy and whole. You need me soContinue reading “The Other Ones”
Looking at loss
How do I learn to look upon loss with the eyes of compassion? With tenderness? When loss has felt like being thrashed and left broken on an endless road? Fragments of memory, cut by explosions of rage from fabric crafted with love. Love, a life raft and a drowning, a tiny tree standing defiant andContinue reading “Looking at loss”
Hands
You seem so far from me now, Sweet Dan, And Grief is such a heavy gift. Reach out your hand, As when I first touched it, When you were new to the world, Five tiny fingers curled around one of mine. Or when I held it as we descended the stairs with your brother andContinue reading “Hands”
A Story Slam Draft
My son Dan was born on September 10, 1997. I was working as a nurse at the time and decided I wanted to have a water birth at home. I remember being in the warm, soothing water after Dan was born and looking down in wonder at this pink, blonde, baby boy, whose eyes wereContinue reading “A Story Slam Draft”
Sitting with loss
You are my dreaded companion, hollowing me with a razor-edged scoop, until I am ragged, and raw. You are a purveyor of pain and delight, that you weave into an umbilicus, a connection that must be cut, severing us from one another. But are we? This scarred and broken body, gave birth to youContinue reading “Sitting with loss”
Dan Immortal
Immortals Fall Out Boy They say we are what we are, But we don’t have to be, I’m bad behavior but I do it in the best way, I’ll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame, I’ll be the guard dog of all your favorite dreams, I am the sand in the bottom halfContinue reading “Dan Immortal”
Op-Ed on Palliative Care
Janet Landis In March of 2018 my son died after years of hospitalizations and procedures to treat his neurodegenerative disease. Often it still feels unreal that he can be gone. I am a nurse and for 20 years, I was Dan’s nurse. Sadly, the last months of his life were very difficult and I wishContinue reading “Op-Ed on Palliative Care”
Anytime
Any time of day and any day, Memories of you fill my mind. Tears, still so quick to spill, rivulets of love and pain. Busyness is it’s own addiction, life goes on without you. I hug your tree, its’ branches your arms, inhale days past, the sweet smell of you. We are separated, by theContinue reading “Anytime”
A little over a year
It’s a little over a year, love, I thought it would be getting easier. It’s strange how food loses its flavor, how everything can seem so empty, of meaning, of purpose. How could I ever think my writing could sum up how we were, Mother and son, nurse and patient, closer than anyone can imagine.Continue reading “A little over a year”
